Help, I’ve crushed and I can’t get up.
This year was one big dumpster fire 🔥 but let us — for a moment — indulge in the frivolous joy and distraction that is crushing on completely unobtainable people.
Here are the ladies you dreamed about this year as you clutched your pillow at night — don’t worry, you weren’t alone.
Tommaso Boddi / Getty Images
TBH, I’m not sure who to crush on more: Beatriz or her onscreen persona. Let’s go with both.
Rich Fury / Getty Images
The singer, who often speaks openly about her bisexuality, uses both male and female pronouns in her lyrics — so start adding to your playlists now.
Lena Waithe (and her Emmy)
Tibrina Hobson / AFP / Getty Images
And until then… rewatch her Emmy speech with some tissues.
Angela Weiss / AFP / Getty Images
May we all strive to live a *bit* more like Paulson in 2018.
Emma Portner (who happens to be Ellen Page’s girlfriend)
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Take a few minutes of your day to ~unwind~ with her, you won’t regret it.
Dia Dipasupil / Getty Images
Speaking of Madame Secretary, Ramirez is serving a LOT of butch realness on set — which she documents for us on her Instagram, thank goodness.
Annie Clark (and her guitar)
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Never change, Clark.
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*Dances into another year filled with Kiyoko jams*
Evan Rachel Wood
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Keep on keepin’ on, cowgirl.
Tegan and Sara (DUH)
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Also, unrelated — this tweet happened this year as well. OK, moving on.
The one, the only, Kate McKinnon
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*Places lovingly on my own grave*
Yohan Bonnet / AFP / Getty Images
Whistling talents featured here:
Loic Venance / AFP / Getty Images
Besides giving us her freshly shaved head, she also gave us the gift of *gestures wildly* THIS sentence on SNL:
And those four little words meant a whole lot to a whole lot of people.
So, I mean, whew. And while we missed watching her on the big screen for the most part of this year, in 2018 we get to see her star in Lizzie, a psychological thriller based on the 1892 murders of the Borden family. Sign me up!
But let’s not forget that this year the first ever Lesbian Superbowl occurred. You know, when Stewart appeared in that Totino’s parody Superbowl ad.
Thanks for saving 2017, Stew.
Who gave you heart palpitations this year? Add in the comments below!