More like kanga-oOoOoh.

Meet Roger: a handsome Australian native who we kiiiind of have a crush on?

I know it’s weird, but hey, you’re already here. Just lean into it.

Like, let’s just say that if the big, buff protector-type was your thing…

Or if you kind of like ’em a little hairy…

Instagram: @thekangaroosanctuary

And your 2018 goals include looking for a guy with great posture, an Australian accent, and absolutely zero allegations of misconduct to his name…

Roger might just be your guy.

Instagram: @thekangaroosanctuary

Look at these eyes! They’re so big and sad and can truthfully say to you, “I’m not like other men.”

And you know he wouldn’t be lyin’.

Instagram: @thekangaroosanctuary

And those arms! They’re strong and ready to help you carry the heavy burden of living in a patriarchal society.

**Sensual kangaroo voice with an Aussie accent** You shouldn’t have to do this alone, mate.

Instagram: @thekangaroosanctuary

And when it comes to toxic masculinity and the way it prevents us all from living in a more egalitarian society, you can bet Roger won’t be sitting on the sidelines of this fight.

I just feel like he knows that strength of character is just as important as the physical stuff, too.

Instagram: @thekangaroosanctuary

But at the same time, he’s always ready to talk things out.

With those enlarged ears and an evolutionarily favored sense of hearing, you just know he’d be a good listener.

Instagram: @thekangaroosanctuary

So, in summary, here’s to you, Roger: for being the kind of stand up ‘roo we deserve in 2018.

And to the rest of all y’all — please fucking hop to it soon, k???

This post was adapted from Japanese.

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